WARNING: INCOMING RANT; SquEnix Hasty Cash Grab; Cloud Strife Skin Available for Final Fantasy XIII-3 Pre-Order

Are you fucking kidding me?

Really Square-Enix? After your momentous leaps forward to show that you were listening to us. After your killer E3 showing announcing Final Fantasy XV and the LONG awaited Kingdom Hearts III. This garbage. This sacrilege. This is what you have to show us!?

Apparently so.

It was announced today in the hastiest of hasty cash grabs that if you pre-order Final Fantasy XIII-3 (I refuse to call it “Lightning Returns” because she never left) you will get a Cloud Strife skin for Lightning to wear in the the upcoming (and hopefully final) installment of the Final Fantasy XIII story line.

Despite the game receiving mixed reviews commercially and its successor suffering less acclaim than the original, and even featuring her front and center on the box art of the mash-up fighter Dissidia 012: Final Fantasy, Square-Enix seems as though they are hell-bent on getting us to love Lighting, and by association, her universe of Fabula Nova Crystalis.

This latest ham-fisted bid to get us to love this character is more infuriating to me as a fan of Final Fantasy VII. This game is widely considered to be one of the greatest Final Fantasies, if not RPGs of all time, (seriously, Google it) recently faring well after a PC re-release of the orignal).

Despite the fact that they teased at the beginning of this console generation that it could be done (despite them saying, “It’s just a tech demo guys, hee hee ^_^) as well as creating all the CG art assets for the sequel movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, and have spawned amyriad of spin-off games, and the fact that they had to re-build Kingdom Hearts from ground-up for it’s upcoming HD collection, they still dangle these bits of hope only to dash them on the jagged Cosmo Canyon rocks by working on some shitty micro-transaction mobile title.

I hate being a fan and always having that small glimmer of hope that they will one day pull their heads out of their asses and remake this classic and do it justice. The art assets are there, the fanbase (myself included) arerabidly devoted and would put our grandchildren in debt with the amount of money we would throw at this title.

I know two people at least who haven’t played the game because of the lumpy polygons of the original PlayStation era. One guy can’t handle the graphics to the point that it gives him headaches.

Final Fantasy VII has proven that it stands the test of time. It deserves a fresh coat of paint and a new audience to experience a timeless classic. Square-Enix isn’t stupid, and they know how popular the game is. I’m willing to wager that at this point they are using VII as the “popular lead-in” to boost sales for a dying story few people still give a shit about.

Though part of me thinks they should leave it alone. They’d probably yank Emerald and Ruby Weapon out and make them $5 DLC each, and put in micro transactions for extra skins and stupid shit. And we all know how well that worked out for them.

 (Archived rant, original post from Tumblr on July 2nd, 2013)